Next time just slip a $20 in my g-string, okay?

This is an excerpt from an offer I just received via e-mail,

Dear Professor Ari Y. Kelman[1]:

Students want lower cost textbooks and textbooks that are accessible on their smart phones, iPads, and laptops. We faculty at [unethical textbook publishing company][2] have developed a new and exciting Early American History text that will meet your needs and the needs of your students. I want you to review a preview of this text and I want to offer you an honorarium for test marketing this text in your classes. On the average you would receive $500 per class, based on student numbers, and would do a faculty evaluation form and some student surveys, not a lot of work.

Not only will this text benefit your students with the videos and links and accessible e-book and free printed text, but the honorarium will be beneficial to you as the budget cuts and lack of summer school continues[3]. Send me an email with your mailing address and I will send you the complete package. Hope this helps you and your students.

Hear me now, textbook publishers: I’ll sell out, sure, but not that cheap.

[1] Oops. That’s actually the other Ari Kelman.

[2] Probably redundant, right?

[3] Nice subject-verb agreement, jackass.

One thought on “Next time just slip a $20 in my g-string, okay?

Leave a Reply